Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Five People You Meet in a Group Workout


Ok folks, for those of you who don't speak fluent Fitness Freak, I've done the research. Below are the CliffsNotes to people you should look out for in your first training session.

The Go-Getter
They're always at the front of the pack and never appear to tire. Your first instinct may be to internally enter a jealous rage and hate them. That feeling will last approximately three seconds. Then they'll help you or have a friendly chat and you'll keep your green-eyed monster in check. This person may even become one of your favourite workout buddies.

The Bailer
Maybe not everyone, but most people want to give up at some point during a workout. Usually the fear of your trainer will keep you going. Those who have the guts to disobey the person they're paying to whip them into shape are called a Bailer. Depending on how brave The Bailer is, they may sneakily give up on the last set of burpies or they may actually leave the session early. If you, yourself are a bailer, my trainer has a great mantra for you: your mind will give up before your body. I know this to be true. Countless times I've wished I could pass out just to avoid dragging my arse around the circuit again.

The Chuck Norris
Despite their age, this person has got it going on. In my experience, The Chuck Norris is usually older and can do just about anything. No matter how long the training session lasts, they're always putting in 100%. They also manage to look great while killing it. They often have slightly tanned skin that doesn't go red at the thought of physical activity and their hair never frizzes. I think everyone hopes to turn into a Chuck Norris one day. Sadly, I don't have the complexion for it.

The Trainer
Some can be pure evil, others are decent human beings. You never know which type you prefer until you feel like you're going to vomit and someone either yells at you or casually states that you can do it. Some may even take the nice trainers for granted until they find themselves knee deep in exhaustion while an evil trainer is screaming at them in a Gordon Ramsay fashion. Don't be fooled by the nice trainer's positive facade, though. If you're caught purchasing a brownie after a training session, they will smile while asking the server to swap your snack for something more healthy. This is another clever way they can trick you into running... even if it's out of a cafe with chocolatey goodness in your clutches.

You
You're attending the training session even though it's not really your 'thing' because you're trying to better yourself. In an ideal world, you'd be one of those people who are addicted to exercise without ever putting in the hard yards to build up your fitness. During the session, you come to the realisation that you can better yourself from the comfort of your lounge. While trying to endure walking lunges, you make a mental note to watch Nat Geo the next time you're hit with the urge to make something of yourself.

It's important to remember that all of these people are necessary for a successful group training session. While your version of improvement may be 20km less than someone else's, watching them push themselves is inspirational. You hate yourself during the training and often the day after. However, when the session ends, the endorphins rushing through your body make you say something crazy like “See you next time.” You then have no choice but to return and so, the cycle begins. You're on your way to becoming fit.

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